Trading with someone when you have knowledge they don't is not "theft" in the general sense of the word. If it was, there wouldn't need to be insider trading laws, because theft is already a crime. The only thing you have really taken from your trading counterparty is the expectation of additional profit (or reduced loss) had both parties traded only on public information. That is an expectation that is created by insider trading laws.
"Fairness" is a vague term. There is an expectation of fairness in US public markets in the limited sense that it is expected that traders generally have access to the same material information about the underlying security.