Is there any company that has the rewards you desire and has strict boundaries on work time?

I would get specific with the things you want, then you can analyse opportunities against those criteria.

The first company I worked at freaking sucked as well, it's soul destroying I agree, but you live and learn.

Lastly one of the biggest lessons someone pointed out to me is we teach other people how to treat us. If someone calls you at 10pm at night and asks you to do something and you do it. You have just confirmed to that person this is ok.