If we’re imagining a parallel universe where things make sense, let’s get rid of CSV files altogether and use the ASCII field separator characters. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C0_and_C1_control_codes#Field_...
\\002 2 0x02 STX (start of text)
OR
\036 30 0x1E RS (record separator)
as the record separator instead of a comma? The big reason CSV uses commas is to be human readable and editable, but otherwise...