Ask HN: Finding a job for the rest of my life
I’ve been slowly on a mission to discover things about myself. Why I don’t like certain things, what things I really love. The only problem is, the result doesn’t provide a clear solution to the problem of what I should try doing with my life.
The things I’ve discovered:
I love learning. It goes beyond mere excitement and borders on a psychological need. Maybe that is the wrong word, it is a need. I could go to school for the rest of my life. I ache to go back to classes, just for the idea that to sit in them would be fun. Even in my college days I hardly skipped class. I didn’t always do the homework, but I went to class anyways. I would read through my textbooks for fun. I go to the library and read books about subjects I don’t really need to know. I read in general, and I love every minute of it. I love exploring new places just to see them and eating new foods just because I wonder what its like to try them.
I would describe myself as a polymath, but that implies a certain amount of acclaimed accomplishment that goes along with the learning. Taking the time to be famous at something has never appealed to me, mostly because that time could be used to learn something new. But one of the best days in my intellectual life was finding the definition of that word, because it meant I was not alone in the world and that other people were like me.
I love thinking through problems. It’s the one thing I’m not humble about, I’m good at it. Thinking excites me, and thinking through things incites me more. I originally wrote “solve problems.” But that isn’t true. I love thinking of the solutions. But once the solution is thought of, I become disinterested. It requires someone else to put the solution into effect. To build the gadget, write-up the paper, complete the process. The problem is solved in my mind, but until someone else does the work it can’t really be said to be truly solved. But the thinking, ah, the thinking. That is truly where my mind can expand, can envision. I’m definitely a vision guy. I ask way too many questions, but I’m extremely good at throwing away useless information and working out a way to solve something, to get somewhere, to chose a path that will likely work.
I hate writing. I hate it with a mix of guilt and resignation. It took me forever to find this out, but again, it was such a relief. Every time I realized I did not like what I was doing, it was this. School was a blast until the night before papers were due. Tests? Sure, love em. Studying, of course! But papers? Writing? That’s where I get bogged down. I finally figured out that it was the ONLY thing I ever procrastinated on. Why? Because deep down I don’t like it. I end up disliking the jobs I have when writing becomes heavily involved. My thoughts have already moved on, they’re going new places and solving new problems. Putting the old thoughts into writing both bores and paralyzes me.
So what should I do with my life? How do I find something that will fulfill me? I’ve thought of academics. Being in a constant learning environment would be fun. I’ve though of those idea companies, where you solve problems, but I admit to a problem with execution. They both want you to solve the problem and execute the solution. I know I’ll hate those parts. So what’s out there for me?
I have found one thing that works, and that’s to take drudgery work. I worked in a factory, and I didn’t mind it. My current occupation is a big step up, I make a ton more money, but it’s the same. You do the same thing over and over for hours. Its enough that I can play close attention to what I need to do, but at the same time a little part of my brain can be thinking through things, solving little problems, or just dreaming up big ideas. It allows me to be me and still make the money I need. By the way, it not that I’m lazy. I’ve worked my share of long hours, both in factories during school and in my current occupation. I don’t mind the long hours as long as I don’t mind the work.
Sorry this is so long. Thank you to everyone who replies.