Having two teenage boys I cannot confirm this. They play with other stuff, but Lego is for building once and putting it on a shelf, where it will collect thick layers of dust. My sons never really played with Lego, which I found a bit disappointing.
You can treat it as a fun 3D Puzzle with step-by-step, or you can do whatever you want with it.
Neither way is particularly "wrong"
I would rather buy some wooden trains and rails if my kids where young now.
esp.
https://www.brickgun.com/Models/MAC-11_RB/BrickGun_MAC-11_RB...
I bought two of those last Christmas, one for me, the other for the son of a co-worker --- mine is currently out on loan to the parent to practice with so as to be able to keep up with the child (and if need be, as a source of parts if any are missing).
There's definitely a strong divergence. In part, for us I think it's driven by poverty, they want "the nice thing" to look at (all our own models are necessarily colour-mismatched). But I know others who have rooms full of prestige sets that are 'not to be touched'!
Many on HN will be tinkerers who will take anything apart, that probably makes a difference too.