My point is
> Web developers can write shitty code because most of the time the bottleneck is in the database. You just need to write code thats faster then the database and you don't need to optimize beyond that.
Is the wrong way to look at things. Shitty code might bottleneck because of the way it uses the database. But that's like saying "you can write shitty code because it will bottleneck on global locks". But you can write better code that uses fine-grained locks or read-write locks or something, or uses a lock-free algorithm, and now it's not your bottleneck. Or you could write shitty code that bottlenecks on single byte unbuffered IO, or you could not do that and not have that bottleneck. It's the exact same idea, really. Write code with more efficient access patterns, and your database won't be as much of a bottleneck.
To say something is a bottleneck, you need to look at what it's capable of under optimal usage patterns. If you have 1TB of data to transfer, and you have a 10 Gb/s link, it's going to take you a little while. If you have 100 MB of data, but you have a tiny receive window and send small packets, it might take you a while, but you're not bottlenecking on the network. Your code just isn't using the network well.
And in the real world, if your working set is smaller than a few TB, then you shouldn't be doing disk IO on your read workloads. You definitely shouldn't be doing read IO if your working set is in the 10s of GB or less. That's not a "bypass" if that's how real-world performance works. Don't run your database on a phone with 8 GB of RAM. Batching writes will cut down on fsync calls for the WAL, so you'll get better real-world performance with actual databases.
You're right that it's not a common pattern among web developers. That's why I'm bringing it up. It's not hard, but it's also not talked about (it is known among lower level programmers obviously. e.g. they're generally not doing unbuffered single byte file IO).