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Comment by treprinum | Hacker News Reader

Sure, I just remember on my last day in Japan I actually felt sadness that I didn't find whatever I was looking for, despite seeing like 15 UNESCO World Heritage sites, but essentially didn't make any lasting connection on a personal level with anyone due to being unable to break the formal shell of anyone. Total opposite to e.g. Brazil when one could make friends in 5 minutes and those folks remembered you for years.

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To each their own - I think its rather crass to castigate a whole country because your own travel didn't find whatever deeper level bond you were searching for.

I for one am suspect at being able make a good friend that lasts forever in 5 minutes. That sounds more like power dynamics in that you had something to offer them then some kind of mutual friendship based on shared interests. That said to each their own.

Maybe. But prior to visiting Japan I actually studied Japanese for 5 years and after visiting it I stopped and quickly forgot whatever I learned as I simply didn't have any reason to as whatever I wanted to find wasn't there (I guess I was looking for a sci-fi wonderland full of robots or something, instead found tired uninterested people everywhere). Wrt Brazil folks, there was no power dynamics between us, they didn't see any $ from me as they were from fairly well-off families, just the society was much more open than the Japanese one. It felt more like Germany where colleagues working at the same desk together for 20 years still use formal polite speech to address each other.

Did you study the culture of Japan or the language? And yes it does sound like you were hoping for some kind of extraordinary event which probably made it all the more unlikely that you were going to find that travel nirvana.

Whereas I am guessing you had no expectation in Brazil and were pleasantly surprised. I'm sorry you didn't have a good experience though I stand by my statement to each their own. Tough to compare societies/populations/cultures based on a sample size of one.

Tourists expecting to form lasting connections with locals always made me laugh. How deep can these connections be if you're only staying for a month? Why would a local invest in a 'lasting' connection that's just for a month?

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