Great, but what is the mismatch you speak of?
> Ted Neward talked about this 20 years ago. Jeff Atwood talked about it 18 years ago.
Are you referring to the "The Vietnam of Computer Science"? It is about active record and object/relational mapping.
OOP, despite the poorly chosen name (which Kay regrets), isn't about objects at all. As is defined, OOP is about "messaging, local retention and protection and hiding of state-process, and extreme late-binding of all things." But perhaps there is some other work by these people that I'm not familiar with that speaks to OOP?
> It seems like a lot of people dislike Object Oriented Programming
Sure. I expect all people dislike object-oriented programming in practice, which is why you never truly see it. Sending a message and maybe getting a response (i.e. extreme late-binding) is cool on a theoretical level, but not exactly practical when it comes to real applications that want to have certain guarantees. The rising love for statically typed languages highlights that people want such guarantees.
Ironically, OOP probably only shines for things like client->relational database systems that cannot guarantee the state of the database at compile time. At least the paradigm gets you thinking about what to do when an actor doesn't respond to your message.