I guess I was also after monetary gains too. But I'm at a point of changing my motivation.

I feel that Working as an employee, raising a family and getting old is the most common life path that one can vision even at his/her 20's. I can say, "if I work hard today, I will be like my manager ten years later."

But that's not exciting, because that life path sounds like determinable and planned. It's as cruel as telling a young child that he/she will never achieve anything and will end up normal.

I don't want my life to be easily visible. I don't want to easily tell how my 50's will look like when I'm 2x.

I'd be a homeless or a achiever, but I can't settle in the middle.