As to the flight terror, we're mainly scared of it for two reasons:
1. Disasters seem personally unavoidable - you can choose to drive better, etc, so any car accidents you see you can comfortably think you would have avoided. But once you're in the metal tube, you have no control over the results.
2. When it happens, it's rare and big news everywhere for weeks.
Another major issue is the awareness and helplessness. In a car accident everything happens so fast, you only have time to go 'On Sh..'. Sometimes not even that. Some people get T-Boned and die without knowing what happened.
But in case of an airliner, usually you know well ahead of time something is wrong. Engines are visibly on fire, there is fire in the cabin, it is flying side ways, it is lurching all over the place, it is spinning out of control.. etc. You have time to panic , scream, curse and cry.
Personally this is what terrifies me.
2. Traffic accidents with injuries happen daily, but very few of them are reported. That doesn't make ground transportation less risky.