The main issue with fixing it properly is that I'd most likely have to reverse engineer the Windows kernel or the UEFI firmware itself (note to self: I haven't yet checked whether any of the *BSDs can read EFI variables in general and on this hardware in particular) to figure out where the request is going wrong/what Windows is doing different.
It's not impossible, given that one can unpack the UEFI PI firmware image into all the separate modules, but going through them to figure out where variable management is implemented will still take me a few weeks at least (not due to any particular challenge, it's just consuming a lot of time that I don't have right now).