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how do you motivate formal functions and relations to 5th graders, and more importantly why?
The word "you" in English has two meanings:
1. how would I motive this to 5th graders ("you" as "tu/vous" in French or "du/Sie" in German)?
2. how is this topic motivated in school to 5th graders ("you" as "on" in French or "man" in German)?
For 2: Well, it isn't. The pupils have to accept that in future, they will hopefully get why it is useful. Until then, better learn the material so that you won't fail on the tests.
For 1: If the prophet does not come to the mountain, the mountain must come to the prophet. If you need group theory to motivate functions (as you implicate in your answer), then teach group theory to 5th graders, so that the pupils get the motivation that they desire. If you additionally need to motivate group theory: well, I do know some quite interesting applications of group theory. :-)
Just to make it clear: I do have quite some experience in teaching mathematics, but to highly gifted students.
> Functions are useful in calculus, but not really the algebraic properties, those are glossed over, i.e kids learning calculus are usually not learning the formalization of functions. That isn't important until analysis or abstract algebra, hence why its included in the textbooks
In Germany, there is no distinction made between calculus and analysis. At the university, this subject is taught from beginning on in the abstract way. In school, what you call "calculus" is often taught in a more "hand-waving" way by bad math teachers. Good teachers rather attempt to teach calculus/analysis in the abstract way in school.