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Comment by mise_en_place | Hacker News Reader

The cruelest thing of all is that, technically speaking, his son is still alive. I’d imagine this to be far more torturous.

I have lost many close family members, but they all lost their biological lives. This just seems to be one of the worst experiences you could go through.

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People are downvoting you, but yes, his situation is worse than death in a sense. In some ways it's a comfort to still have what's left of him with me, in other ways it's worse. I definitely have a DNR in place for myself. I have complicated feelings about... well, everything, which I did my best to exorcise in this piece I posted a few days ago:

https://www.fortressofdoors.com/four-magic-words/

Thank you for sharing. I've found it helps to talk about these things. When my own mother died, I didn't immediately feel sad. It was a range of emotions; I was really surprised at how much I laughed. Not that I found it funny, but something within me just seemed to break.

My father died just before Christmas - and it was similar, my wife thought I was coping a little too well. That said all I needed was for all the planned 'xmas' things to be completed and I was able to give myself the time I needed to cry and make peace with the situation. I still go for a walk most mornings and cry when I am totally by myself - not that I am ashamed of crying, but just that it feels more freeing and more open when I am standing alone on a beach.

This is fairly common. Everyone handles grief differently and it doesn’t always line up with other peoples expectations.

Thanks for writing this piece, I enjoyed it. My sympathies for your family's loss.

I feel like the most controversial idea in the story is the one where a four-word deontological requirement's truest and deepest form turns out to be a kind of consequentialist utilitarianism!

This reads like Asimov. Thank you!

Yeah, I also got vibes of my favourite sci fi authors when reading it.

I read Four Magic Words and shared it with some friends. Thanks for writing, and I wish you and your family the very best.

When your loved one is a continuing biological entity but you will never again experience them as they were… to me it was like all the magic left the world and consciousness/humanity was revealed to be just an illusion.

And, as Lars has written, there are many multipliers in the individual cases. Unfathomable indeed.

There’s closure in death.

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