Glad you’ve managed to make so much progress on your recovery!
As someone with a baseline dopamine deficiency (permanent nihilistic depression-like symptoms), my trips were always “bad trips”, but I used to enjoy them akin to how one might enjoy a horror movie or haunted theme park. I like to think it changed me for the better, but I’m not certain there weren’t lasting negative effects. I was used to darkness, but they magnified it by orders of magnitude… and you can’t “un-see” stuff like that.
Just a word of caution — when planning on trying them for the first time, i suggest making sure the first dose is smaller than the recommended starter dose, and work your way up — you can always take more mushrooms, but you can never un-take them.