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Comment by brainless | Hacker News Reader

I am not the OP, but I disagree here. Happiness that we find in our social life, our friendships, family and relationships is not the same or swap-able with our career. This is something I learned the hard way, being drunk on startup cool-aid in the early life till it wore me down.

Friendships or other things I mentioned: not that everything is smooth, but there is a sense of comfort, pleasure, joy that just does not go away with more time invested. Because I am not looking for returns. Just being around is bliss.

Bumming out of a beach is very underrated. Going to a movie date is underrated. This is where my happiness lies. Then on top I write code now again, not to gain startup throne but because I like learning and typing out my thoughts in code.

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The point of disagreement here is probably with regards to our definitions of happiness. What you define as happiness, I see as just forms of temporary satisfaction or pleasure.

In my opinion, I think happiness isn’t the goal since it’s temporary. Instead we should aim for equanimity which arises from the complete cessation of stress and doubt and is much harder to obtain but is longer lasting.

It might be important to take a step back. If you are a practicing Buddhist and read OPs comment, you may be right. Most are not, and they can't be shoved into the deep end of this philosophy.

Having said that, taking small steps is important. I feel OPs point is valid, in the sense that happiness comes from within, not external validation.

I would highly encourage* you to read Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse. I used to look at happiness and love also from a high pedestal point of view. As if I am more intellectual and these are mere temporary illusions. This book changed my point of view. Also, I live in the land of people living in love and harmony with Buddism being a strong presence all around (Nepal, Sikkim, etc.).

I embraced life, love, bonding, friendships, heartbreaks and have never looked back.

A good read. If I had to sum it up, it would be: don't let the search for knowledge/happiness/wisdom get in the way of being able to experience it in the moment.

"It took me a long time and am not finished learning this yet, oh Govinda: that there is nothing to be learned! There is indeed no such thing, so I believe, as what we refer to as ‘learning’. There is, oh my friend, just one knowledge, this is everywhere, this is Atman, this is within me and within you and within every creature. And so I’m starting to believe that this knowledge has no worser enemy than the desire to know it, than learning.”

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