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Comment by tenpoundhammer | Hacker News Reader

I found in my mid thirties that my perspective on what was important and desirable shifted significantly. Which led me to become disengaged from my desire to build side projects and learn new programming languages. It was a time were ecclesiastes from the Bible resonated a lot. After a while I just found out that I wasn’t interested in nothing but I had to rediscover what was important to me and what I valued spending my time on.

While my current lifestyle doesn’t lineup well with the tech grind and won’t get me attention online I’m much happier living a lifestyle that serves me and family rather than some external validation. Hope that helps and good luck on your journey.

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Bingo. This happened to me also. What I valued changed. In my 20s and early 30s I was really serving myself. Even work was about my own curiosity and desire to work hard. Eventually as "me" time was stripped away I had to re-evaluate and understand what I was living for. We live in a world of abundance, excess and desire. The desire to create is not the same as being driven by a real need. And the cycle of consumerism only made our lives worse as we watched others who we aspired to be like or escape our lives for short periods through endless content binging. Our real needs are much simpler. We don't need a lot to live a good life. If anything we have to become more disciplined in learning how to need less.

In our younger years, we are primarily driven by economic necessity and social validation. Sure, programming genuinely interests me from my teenage years, but if it wasn't for attaining some level of financial independence, there's no way I could have spent most of my 20s in front of a screen, solving someone else's problems. I could have been doing it as a leisurely recreational hobby instead.

Now I'm in my late 30s, with a 5-year-old child and a well-furnished 2-bedroom flat that was paid for in cash. I don't feel like having to prove anything to anyone. I've not fallen prey to any kind of excessive material consumption. My best idea of spending quality time is assisting my son with playing with Lego, and then taking a walk in the park with a classic philosophical book from Plato or Hegel or Hume.

One of the massive things which caused a shift was knowing a decent sized group of people that became incredibly financially successful as the result of acquisitions and what this actually did to their personal lives. It really wasn't the all happy fun situation that it is so often portrayed as being.

Then there is the whole have kids<->not have kids axis, and where people fall on that will dramatically influence their priorities with work as well, with the former tending to see it as a way to finance raising their kids and the latter tending to attempt to replace kids with something else in their lives, which can often be work.

I just want to spend time on my hobbies. I'm in IT because it is the closest a job can be to my hobbies.

Can you say more about your first point? I find that really interesting and much often isn't written about those scenarios.

> It was a time were ecclesiastes from the Bible resonated a lot.

As an open minded agnostic who has not read the Bible or the Tanakh I am curious, what about the Ecclesiastes in particular resonated with you?

Not OP, but it’s very unique compared to the other books. It reads more like a philosophy-type book.

Not the commenter but it's just a interesting premise. It's an old King who's experienced every earthly pleasure in existence (food, wine, servants, women, etc.) who is looking back on his life and writing a letter to his son. He is basically despairing that all of these things were in vain and that they don't mean anything now that he is old, etc. It doesn't really have a clean payoff or moral either, the premise is basically "life sucks, pleasure is fleeting, and then you die".

Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations" came to mind from your description, very interesting.

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 KJV

I’m a Christian if that makes a difference. The book spoke to me about the idea of believing we will find meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in things if we just try hard enough. If I have the right idea and execute on it I will final be happy, if I reach a certain level in my company I will I’ll finally feel that feeling of the ultimate win, if I have enough friends, or leisure or whatever. None of its going to bring that sense of peace and fullness we are seeking. It must be found outside of our striving. As a Christian I find that feeling in God and being present with family.

Do you worry that you won’t be able to keep up with the industry and get obsoleted and forced out of work or a certain comp level before you want?

I am in my late 30s and used to worry about this, but I’ve been in the corporate world long enough to know that I can learn whatever I need to learn to secure a decent, paying dev job.

I’ve also realized, far more important than knowing the latest framework or tool, is the ability to work well with people. This is the skill I’ve been working on most, and in my opinion is far more valuable.

I worry about that more than I’d like to admit. However I have far peace and fulfillment than I’ve ever had so the trade off is good. I think Scott Galloway said nothing is ever as bad or as good as you think it will be.

When I was 20 I worked at Costco while going through college and one of my coworkers was previously a software engineer at sun microsystem. He ended leaving the industry because his skills were up to date enough but he was happy in life and had paid for most everything he needed already. It would be unpleasant to go through but make wise financial decisions and ride it out as long you can. Also I maximize my 8 hours a day and do my best to learn on the job.

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