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> And forgetting that extra predicate on deleted_at can have dangerous consequences as it accidentally returns data that’s no longer meant to be seen.

For postgres you could consider using a view instead. See https://evilmartians.com/chronicles/soft-deletion-with-postg...

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This sort of logic is a good candidate for views. Of course, someone could choose not to use the view, but you can solve it with DB permissions, etc.

You can do the same in other dbms. Just use an instead of delete trigger instead of the rule.

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