Install "Microsoft KM-TEST Loopback Adapter" using Device Manager (Action -> Add Legacy Hardware, Install from a list, network adapter)
From Control Panel -> Network and Sharing Settings, go to Change Adapter Settings
Rename your Loopback network connection to something else (such as LOOPBACK) so you can tell what it is.
Go to Properties
Uncheck everything except for IPV4.
Go to Properties for IPV4, and assign an IP address. You used to be able to assign something beginning with 127 there, but windows doesn't let you do that anymore. It appears that 192.0.2.1 is a reserved private IP address.
Hit "Advanced...", go to WINS page, disable NetBIOS for that connection.
Now you have a custom localhost-only IP address that has no SMB server bound to it!
You can also use this special loopback device with an SSH client. If you forwarding all the local SMB ports on the IP, it will make it looks like 192.0.2.1 is a computer on your network that's sharing files. Hopefully Windows Firewall isn't interfering.