Don’t beat yourself up, use this as information that you are not to be trusted and it is a big freaking deal.

However, it does not mean you’re a bad person. You have an illness triggered by external factors. Do your best to look forward, try to understand how this mistake happened, and patch this hole.

Now, if I’m being honest, it sounds very unlikely that you stumbled across this doing the same things a non-addict would do. Were you somewhere frequented by addicts? You should stay out of those places.

Try to think like a sports coach might. You made a mistake, that happens - the most important question is what you’re going to learn so it doesn’t happen again.