Life in West Virginia is younger than the mountains but older than the trees
“the appalachian mountains are older than saturn’s rings. the appalachian mountains are older than dinosaurs. the appalachian mountains are older than trees. the appalachian mountains are literally older than BONES. the appalachian mountains should be regarded with pure terror.”
He'd also never been here, so he might have just been wrong.
(or for that matter the German notion of western: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZrXWdLxtfM )
The second one would fit in at the CMAs.