The Renaissance changed beauty standards
washingtonpost.com
washingtonpost.com
Flipping to the other side of the world, Europeans are sunbathing, using tanning chemicals, and other means to get the exact opposite effect. (My pet theory is this is because tanning is a product of a life of leisure, which is increasingly harder to get and sun exposure isn’t as associated with poverty and manual labor as people moved indoors to work in the west).
I got married 23 years ago, and was along for the ride with the cultural norms of feminine beauty. In fact the lengths women went to intrigued me, partially because it was a sort of subjugation for my pleasure. As I grew older I saw that as disgusting, and learned that my wife is my companion and that is where the beauty of the sexes truly lies. As I had a daughter I saw things yet again as telling girls to never feel truly comfortable in any context, to always be wrong in who they are, to only be acceptable if they make themselves different than their natural self. As a man that’s a shocking way to live, we are taught to belch and fart and dress the way we feel comfortable. Don’t shave for a few days? Handsome.
Why have we done this to our friends, lovers, companions, daughters, sisters, mothers? Yeah I get it women do it to themselves as well, when I say “we,” I mean all of us humans. It’s a sad thing that half of us can structurally never be comfortable in themselves.
It's the other way around. The cultural difference between Asia and especially America is that working class and mass culture determine aesthetics in the US (and downstream in Europe). When Jeff Bezos hits the gym and poses in a truck with a cowboy hat and big arms, and Zuckerberg styles himself as a MMA fighter its because that's what reigns supreme in culture. They don't want to be seen as living life's of leisure, but as hard workers and ordinary salt of the earth people.
Paleness still is a sign of leisure and traditional "refinement", it's just that this is not an aspirational value in the West, but it still is to some extent in Asia.
They are demonstrating (to themselves as much as others) that they can spend enormous amounts of effort and cognition on building wealth, but still have time, creative spirit, and social finesse required to do anything else, go on any adventure, hang out with anyone.
Elite fitness is not a poor or overworked person's game. Neither is hanging out with subcultures, which has nothing to do with actually being in a subculture. Etc.
I don't think a tan even is naturally associated with being working-class in Europe or North America. Factory workers don't spend a lot of time outside. That's really a meme from tropical agrarian countries.
They don't do it for your pleasure. They do it to get something they want - attract someone cool. Men also do lots of things for that reason.
They also do it for their own - I’m not saying women don’t want to be more beautiful only for men’s pleasure.
But my point is, what a strange structure we have that half of the humans on earth feel profoundly and unshakably uncomfortable by being simply their selves without modifications? Like, literally can’t be seen in public without applying substances to their face to change how they look?
The same way you might wish to get hired by a highly paying company, but not have any particular desire for that company to become richer. These two things are just not connected much.
The judgement is so pervasive across cultures and time that the behavior is not learned but inborn. Biological.
The same is said for women. Success in choosing a mate is biased towards youth as youthful mates are more successful at reproduction. Additionally feminine traits are indicators of good maternal instincts which further increases the success of the offspring. So men make their choice off of this and this choice has influenced female behavior.
Thus women have evolved behaviors to emphasize traits related to showing off their physical and youthful beauty. It's also largely biological.
This isn't a blame game thing. It's just the way things are. You don't blame men for beauty culture any more than you blame women for men suppressing their emotions and often taking on the full burden and stress of raising a family unit.
You have a lot of daughters so you feel empathy for them. But if you had sons you'll realize reality is just as harsh on them from different perspectives. It's just the way it is.
Women do have goals in life other than attracting successful, powerful, rich and good looking alph males, you know?
In the circles you run in, most likely partners come together as couples because of compromise. It's the best possible stable matching pairing they can get. That's the majority of relationships. It's impossible for people get their ideal.
Fortunately we have raw data to validate my points and invalidate your anecdotal data. Every point I made comes from raw correlation. Younger women get more attention from men, richer, more powerful and more masculine men get more attention from women. Look it up. The overwhelming majority of psychological studies on human mating behavior illustrates this exact pattern that is pervasive in all cultures.
You run in circles less motivated by money and status but I can tell you. A good number of those people aren't motivated by that because they can't get that status. People focus on what they achieve, if they can't get status through wealth, a lot of men tend to attempt to achieve mastery somewhere else.
Society is driven by status and power. A lot of a women's success/power is unfortunately driven by her looks. She can choose to pursue alternative paths to success but there's no denying that looks is an avenue women have easier access to then men, and it's through looks and the ability to manipulate men that women achieve most of their power.
When you look at the world. The stereotypical tropes you see in the media, movies and stories it's obvious what the generality is. Yet you choose to view the world through the lens of your "circle" and you admittedly say that your circle could be biased. So what's with all the culture surrounding the obvious stereotype? Just made up fantasies out of thin air? Come on let's be real here.
Additionally I can't imagine a man who doesn't understand why a unemployed 25 year old woman is much more attractive then a rich doctor 38 year old woman. I'm a woman and it took me a bit to understand this concept because we think exactly oppositely to men, and I've rarely met other women who totally get it. But men... All men should get it.
When you highly disagree with someone, learn to objectively disagree rather then attack them. Your the shit show here.
True. I have seen tons of training programs in Asia where I grew up, and now in US where I work, that teach men how to fart and belch at parties just to feel comfortable in their skin.
It's not a gender issue. White men tan until they get cancer, asian and black men whiten their skin. Even legendary baseball player Sammy Sosa bleached his skin!
I worked for a major cosmetics company. They made billions in profit selling goop in a jar to women. They struggled to introduce men’s lines (soap? Shaving supplies? Cologne?). That’s a gender issue - why is it so important to scorch your skin and make yourself look like a clown by painting color all of your face? It isn’t due to convenience, and it’s is absolutely a gender aligned thing.