Everything would be ok if we could just delete the table, but that would involve opening a session and that wouldn’t be possible because of the immediate crashing.
On a whim I thought, “well what if I just have a really short amount of time to connect before it reboots?” So I opened up 5 terminal windows and executed “while true; do mysql -e ‘drop table xyz;’ done” in all of them
After about 10 minutes one of the hundreds of thousands of attempts to connect to this constantly rebooting database succeeded and I was able to go home at a reasonable time.