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Comment by slibhb | Hacker News Reader

The problem with the "victim blaming" concept is that it prevents us from giving good advice about how to avoid being a victim. It's clear that women shouldn't stay with male strangers. Men should think carefully about it too.

It's not about blame. If someone drugs and/or rapes someone else, that person is to blame. But it is possible to avoid situations where you're vulnerable.

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This is such messed up logic. You can apply it to basically anything.

Taken to the extreme, never get in a car because you can get in a car crash. Never go on a plane because it can crash. Don't send your kids to school because they might get shot.

Many people used the couch surfing website and did not get raped (the vast majority). Many people have been raped in ways completely unrelated to couch surfing.

Such "advice" really isn't helpful.

Comparing "riding in a car" and "flying in a plane" to a "young woman staying with a male stranger she met on the internet" is bizarre. The risk involved in the latter example is way higher than the risks involved in the former two.

Also I'm not arguing for avoidance of all risk. If people want to do risky things, fine. Heroin, BASE jumping, staying overnight at a stranger's house -- have at it. What I'm objecting to is the idea that there's something wrong with giving people advice about the potential danger in certain situations. There isn't!

The problem with your good free advice is that it was neither sought nor is it helpful. But thank you for it anyway.

It would have been helpful to the girls before they stayed with the guy?

Yeah and you should be more careful too. Lots of weirdos out there. You’re welcome.

There must be cultural factors that influence one person’s ability to conceptualize the likelihood of becoming victimized in a given situation and another’s inability.

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