How to appropriately lie on your resume

"...so long as whatever you say is true when you come to the interview, you’re OK. Do note, however, that if you list it, it’s fair game for questions..."

This is really all that needs to be said. I just had an interview with a kid right out of college who listed SQL on his resume. Since I've stepped into the role of DB guy where I work, I was asked to gauge that. In the space of about 10 minutes, he went from "Yes, I know SQL" to "Well, my experience was on MySQL and not Postgres" to "It's been about three years since I wrote any SQL so I'm rusty" to "Three years ago I watched someone else write SQL as part of a group project." My feedback was... less than positive.

Don't put something on your resume if you can't claim any knowledge of it!