I try to do what I can to put something in the world that is not garbage.
And that is exactly why it is now my favorite movie. A lot of movies have moved me, but this thing did something I didn't even know movies could do.
I don’t currently have time for that. thank you for the warning.
The first time I watched it I had to pause it halfway through... the next couple hours I was in a mental space that can only be rationalized as "schizophrenic". I thought everyone around me were psychopaths and I was the only sane one, but lived that in a more or less manic way. The only other piece of art that's had that kind of effect on me is the novel Naked Lunch. It's my favorite movie precisely because of how unflinchingly it plumbs those depths, those cracks, of the human condition and the anxiety of dying having not contributed enough.
So I identify with what I believe the character is struggling with in the film. I have no question about what I'm doing. My partner on the other hand has completely lost/never had faith after 30 years.
It's a tough spot to be in. Currently I'm discovering Jack Benny and there is a lot to learn.
Here's the first paragragh:
I think you have to see Charlie Kaufman's "Synecdoche, New York" twice. I watched it the first time and knew it was a great film and that I had not mastered it. The second time because I needed to. The third time because I will want to. It will open to confused audiences and live indefinitely. A lot of people these days don't even go to a movie once. There are alternatives. It doesn't have to be the movies, but we must somehow dream. If we don't "go to the movies" in any form, our minds wither and sicken.