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Agreed.

First amendment protections should only apply to individuals anyway. Tesla doesn’t have a sane argument here since Tesla is not a person.

(I recognize there’s a whole bag of worms around corporations and attempts to treat them like individuals in the eyes of the law.)

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That logic doesn't pass muster. Imagine if a state passed a similar law and then started piling fines on newspapers for misleading reporting.

Clearly, the mere fact that the newspaper is a corporation doesn't dissolve its speech rights (nor should it).

The US Supreme Court says that corporations are people, and therefore every civil right that applies to humans applies to corporations. I suppose that will make things easier for aliens (if they ever move to Earth) to have the same civil/legal rights as humans. I guess replicants will all need to incorporate in order to avoid being slaves (to avoid a Bladerunner future).

That's patently false. The Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination, for example, doesn't apply to corporations.

The supreme court said that people don't lose their first amendment rights just because they form a political advocacy group.

They also literally said “corporations are people”.

Corporations are groups of people. And citizens united was a political advocacy group.

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