You're kinda committing a conjunctive fallacy w/ some anthropic bias. The thing you're not seeing is the infinite similar multiverses that would look indistinguishable to you and you need to remember that the known universe is, very big and the rest of it could be infinite. I don't know how big that number is, but its a lot more complicated than 'this is the only way this could have happened'.
It's the exact same question as "why did the universe have such and such initial conditions?". We've added a new variable, "God", to the mix, but have gained no explanatory power.
I get a similar intuition from ethology. No matter how crazy someone acts, all I can do is think "Yup, this organism is most definitely exhibiting a form of behavior" .
This gives you a level of objective detachment towards people and their words, which helps with keeping a cool head and resolving the actual underlying issues.
Would you set free a raper or killer (it wasn't his fault, it's society, culture, etc) and let the next victim pay the price?
I think there are exceptions like Nuremberg trials where the executions were more of a revenge.