I disagree that it's clickbait-y. Diving down from Python bindings to ucode is ... not how things usually go. Doubly so, since Python is a very mature runtime, and I'd be inclined to believe they've dug up file-reading Kung Fu not available to the Average Joe.

Thanks for this unexpected, thriller-like read.

I'm impressed by your perseverance, how you follow through with your investigation to the lowest (hardware) level.