Random parenting tidbit: I have two kids, and they had tantrums. When it was spiraling I took them outside. I have found the sound of nature calms them, weirdly. The change of setup maybe helps.
My kids have long memories, unfortunately.
Great tip
And if this was not enough, carrying them with a manduca on the back or front and walking outside was always working. Also sometimes in the middle of the night, giving the mother a rest.
Now that they are bit older (and heavier) I only do this rarely. The trick is to have been outside enough with them in the first place. And if their head gets hot - literally cooling them with some water on the head helps very much.
Anyone who has been through this, does it ever get easier?
Just get through it one day at a time.
The good news is that at their age right now I’ve been noticing more and more moments where they’re nice to each other, help each other out, etc. Still plenty of rivalry, but it seems to be on the decline in the past six months or so.
Juggling those two ages is tough for us because there is no overlap…they don’t play, eat, or sleep in the same ways so it feels like there’s a negative economy of scale.
I have 13 and 11 year old boys which is pretty sweet at the moment. We talk about games, space, music, and other stuff. They’re old enough to have opinions and something to say but still young enough to see me as the most powerful being in their universe haha
To your point about 3 or 4 - again it gets easier because you get better. Going-out-bags get smaller. You discover kids are resilient. You learn to let go of some expectations.
When we (the parents) take one child each for a day, it feels so much easier than even having both of us together dealing with two.