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Comment by svnt | Hacker News Reader

I went back and re-read but I still can’t find where the poster said “judge my mom’s career.”

It's just sad because so many people accept this kind of mediocrity as the norm, when I absolutely believe it doesn't have to be. If you actually enjoy your job, the technology space, and your coworkers (all achievable in theory), then no matter how old you were, those other asks would be givens. And in addition, you'd be 100% likely to be more successful and have some pull when you need some emergency (or necessary) time off.

If money isn't your primary motivator, then heck, let something else be at least!

> in addition, you'd be 100% likely to be more successful and have some pull when you need some emergency (or necessary) time off.

One shouldn't need pull for necessary time off, much less emergency time off.

Good point. I guess I was referring to... well at my startup we're all dads which is very fortunate because some days with toddlers are just... impossible to be productive

I am not going to dispute your opinion but rather point out that people are different. Some people don't mind maintaining old systems and some people love being the person who created a new systems D using new technology. Both sets of people are necessary in our field of development and his mother sounds like she is fine with maintenance type of work.

That's fair

Maybe her primary motivator was taking care of her child?

Not everyone wants to occupy more of their mind with work than is required, and society benefits from this in all kinds of ways.

This answer resonated with me because as the father of a 2.4 year old son, I've been forced to consider something like a downshift simply because these kids are incredibly difficult soul sucking energy vampires. Fortunately I work with a bunch of dads with older kids who completely understand this phase but are probably banking on my ability as soon as I can claw my way back from the stranglehold that this kid has on my "true" productivity

It is a challenging time, for sure. I am sad you described your child that way but I understand — and I hope things improve for you both.

I have ADHD, am 51 years old and we have zero (except for daycare) assistance as dual-income parents. The combination of these things ups the apparent difficulty considerably, based on my research into why this feels so incredibly hard. I am strongly considering an au-pair situation just to not lose my sanity.

This all despite loving the adorable nugget to death.

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