I’m sorry to hear you are still suffering. I’ve been there, and yes those high achievement individuals often have too at some point.
Part of the problem is that we often focus on what could have been, instead of the wins of what was, no? Part of what makes things hard though, is if we never process/feel the bad things, we can’t move on.
When we process the pain, we can start to let go, and the wins start to come through.
It becomes a past, not a present. We can start to see the truth of what is in front of us, instead of getting stuck in an illusion.
Some learned/were able to earlier, some later. In my experience. We can look at the future more than relive the past.
Some avoid it, and that is often where true evil takes root.
‘Toughing it out’ works in the moment, but adds up over time until we hit our limits. The longer the pain stays in, the more it calcifies. Often, if it’s ‘stuck’ it’s due to something that is very difficult to see due to how bad it is.
No one comes through life without some grief and loss and pain, literally no one. Some get more than others, some handle it more than others.
In the end, we’re all dirt anyway - what matters is what we do with the time we have. I hope you find some peace. It is possible, but it is often not natural.
If you’re still struggling, there may be alternatives that can help. They do often take time and money.
I’m happy to provide some pointers or references if you’d like. No guarantees, but I have had some significant personal relief as have others. It is possible.