Ask HN: Are there tech-focused life coaches who can help rebuild my career? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Are there tech-focused life coaches who can help rebuild my career?

9 pointsfounderspend14 comments

I'm a middle-aged guy with a pretty unorthodox professional background and rough upbringing. Have made a lot of mistakes in my career, burned bridges, struggled with mental health, and have not yet learned how to "play the game."

I've done a lot of personal work the past few years to sort out many of my issues, and I'm ready to reenter the arena, but am looking to do so under the guidance of a coach who can provide the mentorship I never really had – someone who can help me navigate decisions, cultivate a network, manage conflict, etc. I can no longer waffle about as the opportunity cost of directionless failure is way too high at my age (35).

I've worked in various roles in PM and design, and my goal is to eventually become a formidable entrepreneur whether sooner or later after a few years rebuilding myself.

Do life coaches like this exist?

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Yep, but they tend to have the title of "therapist".

A life coach is just a therapist who has no credentials. And there is nothing wrong with that if all you need is a guide. But if you have a history of mental health concerns and want to learn how to better interact with people to benefit your career, while helping you figure out what personal changes are needed to enable you to meet your goals... you need someone who has a bit more experience and knowledge.

"I'm ready to reenter the arena, but am looking to do so under the guidance of a coach"

That's the thing with entrepreneurship. You have to start first. Only then you can get a coach/mentor may be. There is no perfect day or time. You can't depend on someone else to tell you that it is time. You are the one to tell you it is time. There is no "playing safe" in this arena. This is all about taking risks because you want it that bad.

There are plenty of "life coaches" who will take your money and tell you what you want to hear. But trust me. No stranger can truly help you become an entrepreneur. That is an itch you have to scratch yourself. Real mentors or people who actually can help won't wanna do anything unless they see some actions from you first. You start and then go seek help.

I'm not a life coach, but I'm happy to talk (for free), if it helps. My email is in my profile.

I have a (slightly) unorthodox professional background, and I learned to play the game the hard way, after an extended period of not playing the game and expecting to just be able to be a programmer.

I don't mind trying to provide feedback (email in profile) based on my experiences.

Put some method of contact in your profile so that people can reach out to you.

I think what you are seeking is more likely found from more than one person. I'm sure that there are paid services for parts of this, but it sounds like building some relationships might be a fruitful endeavor.

I found out about Sheril Mathews from a comment on my own Ask HN over the summer. He offers leadership and professional coaching services for engineers - haven't worked with him but had an intro call (ultimately didn't feel the timing or commitment level was right for me). Articles and contact info can be found here [1]

The services may be a fit but can't say for sure, he may be able to point you in the right direction if not. Good coaches are out there but not easy to find and all probably serve a different niche.

Best of luck to you

[1] https://www.leadingsapiens.com/

Let me ask a question back at you: why do you want to become an entrepreneur? For most people, that's just playing a lottery. Most lottery tickets lose.

Why not take your job skills and settle down to a nice, stable job?

Probably a savior complex. I was abused as a child, was enamored by tech from a young age, and have always felt that the way to productively channel my pain was to create a product that could improve the lives of many. Have grappled with and psychoanalyzed this desire for many years and have decided to stop fighting it.

no offence but you sound completely confused

Thanks for your contribution

They sound increasingly self-aware. Adverse childhood experiences are important to crawl out from under, and it takes a lot of work. If you're confused about what they're saying, why not ask for clarification?

Fair enough. A compromise might be a stable job plus open-source contributions. There are a lot of valuable OSS projects!

Life coaches exist in the tech space, but they are all charlatans in one way or another.

Though if you're game, I'm available at $2400/month for an hour a week.

It sounds like there are some people who are willing to chat, same here. I've been in tech 20+ years after being an industrial hygienist for 7 years before that.

Get in touch if you need another perspective.

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