Bits of Advice for 30 Years

The difference is that I could not put it into practice at the time, maybe because I lacked sufficient experience.

For example, I've always known in theory that nobody is paying as much attention to what you think is most embarrassing about yourself, because they are too busy being embarrassed about whatever they think they're doing wrong. I knew that, but it didn't matter, I was still self conscious.

Now, I've just done so many reps of fucking up in public and seeing the almost total lack of ramifications, or the swift passage of those ramifications from my world, that I actually believe that advice at a core level, it can actually affect my behavior and make me content. I guess it's the difference between knowing and grokking. And, to be sure, I would have been embarrassed to use the word grok in my 20s.

Not completely true.. recognition of awkwardness also signals people that you're socially conscious to understand an action was not appropriate/good. The right thing to do in an awkward situation.. has no easy rules to write down really.

> Keep a can-do mindset.

> Don’t get discouraged because of existing work. Instead, try to find ways to put your own spin on it.

> Always do extra.

> Surround yourself with people who are passionate about their work.

Seems like work is important to him. If it were my list, I'd add: "Don't make your work your life unless you're really sure this is what you want."

edit: also regarding

> Always do extra.

Which he explains as:

> One thing I've noticed over the years is that there is at least one thing that seems to be common to every good, veteran programmer I know. They all follow the same deliberate and dare-I-say selfish rule to how they approach their time: Always do Extra.

I think it's mostly the fact that after you've ran around the same barn enough times, you know what whistles and chimes to hang up after you're done building it. So it looks like you "did extra" but it's really just random stuff you've picked up over the years that you can do easily but is somewhat impressive looking. Still a good tip but I'd say it's less about motivation and just.. how it works.

edit2:

> Think of yourself as the person you want to be, not the person you are.

For motivation, sure. It's very important to know your own faults, insecurities, weaknesses etc. since knowing when you're wrong is just as important as knowing when you're right. Sometimes more.

For any piece of good advice the opposite is also good advice, but for a different person! That’s what the author of this list doesn’t seem to get. Advice is about adjusting behavior in a specific direction, and that is very personal because the mistakes we make in life are personal.

Generic advice tends to have the opposite effect. It tends to confirm people’s biases. It makes people double-down on behavior that holds them back.

> It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.

Or THEY make it awkward.

> Don’t make your problems other people’s problems.

Well, yea... Also don't attack other people, and don't steal from other people, ...

> Help others succeed, and they’ll help you succeed in the long term.

Hard no. Many will take advantage of your time and advice, and never return the favor. Choose wisely who you help succeed.

> Don’t let your expenses rise as fast as your income.

Once again, very generic. Don't spend more than you make.

On the other hand, some of this stuff is actually never mentioned but useful

> Keep a brag document

> Under-promise and over-deliver.

> Be kind first, be right later.

Being kind is good, we should not forget to stand up for what you believe.

> People care more about stories than facts.

It doesn't feel virtuous, in the end, what's true matters more than stories.

> Think of yourself as the person you want to be, not the person you are.

It's good to know who you really are, not just who you want to be.

> Surround yourself with people who are passionate about their work.

Being passionate doesn't always mean it's good. Even a passionate slave is still a slave.

I have always done this subconsciously, and although I can attribute a lot of my personal growth to this trait, it's also the source of a lot of self-loathing. If you can't accept the parts of you that differs from who you want to be, you'll spend a lot of energy focusing on perceived mistakes that others didn't even notice.

In my older experiences, people who'd climbed a mountain's worth of knowledge would be recognised. Nowadays, we tend to witness people climbing the mountain because the information is so freely available, and tbf, eminently marketable.

Tell me about it when you've reached the top.

There's plenty of us putting in the effort one way or another.

Helping other people succeed guarantees nothing for you - people can be selfish - especially in business

Since romantic relationships are often an important aspect of one's life, I would also add: If you're interested in someone go talk to them.

> Don’t make your problems other people’s problems.

> Read more books.

> It’s only awkward if you make it awkward.

> People care more about stories than facts.

> Don’t let your expenses rise as fast as your income.

> Less is more.

> Curious people are smart. Be curious.

> Don’t be afraid to look stupid.

> It’s never as easy as it looks.

> Perfection is the enemy of good.

> Under-promise and over-deliver.

This reads more like a list of clichés I can find on posters plastered on the walls of a depressing accounting office than actual life advice. Then again, I don't trust the advice of someone who's only made it to 1/3 of his life expectancy.

“It has gradually become clear to me what every great philosophy up till now has consisted of – namely, the confession of its originator, and a species of involuntary and unconscious autobiography; and moreover that the moral (or immoral) purpose in every philosophy has constituted the true vital germ out of which the entire plant has always grown.”

I think "philosophy" can be replaced with "advice" and it still applies.

One day in a team meeting I spent 15 minutes trying to argue with 2 senior developers on why it didn't make sense to me how they had declared CSS "variables" like this --10px: 10px; and were using var(--10px) in various classes all over the CSS. Team manager was in the meeting, who was basically just sitting there and ignoring all the conversation.

I gave up and just approved the PR.

> [1] The Internet Archive has the full version.

This makes me so sad, I remember reading Kevin's article back when it had the full 68 items, now it's been stripped down to the first 5 items and the rest (plus 450 more) are squirreled away into an Amazon book which he recommends people buy instead in the post. Isn't that awful? Thank god for the Wayback Machine.

More importantly, don't make other people's problems your problems.

I would give somewhat different advice in place of this:

Lean to accept yourself for who you are, not as a work in progress toward becoming someone else.

This is an odd one. Seems trivial, what does it mean?

What do I get by doing that?

The hubris of the tech bro knows no bounds! lol