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My standing orders are to donate whatever organs/pieces that are still viable after I've finished trying to destroy them with my lifestyle. Take the rest and wrap it in linen and bury it without a box in the backyard. We have registered with the county as having grave sites, so it's perfectly legal.

I tell them that I want simple with my remains, don't go nuts. That way you can spend all that extra money on a 30 foot marble statue of a sword wielding archangel Michael that shoots fire and shouts my name occasionally.

Being fossilized and found by future archaeologists a few thousand years down the line sounds like one of the better ways to end up. Too bad I will never know about it.

Have you tried requesting burial in New Orleans? Although you might float out before you fossilize.