That sounds like you actually might have the executive function problems that I consider ADHD. I would really reconsider being deathly afraid of amphetamines. Taking 15 mg of instant released mixed amphetamine salts is going to affect your body most likely less than a cup of coffee but it will affect your brain positively in a pretty strong manner. I'm not a doctor I'm just a person with really debilitating ADHD that mainly has issues with motivation and symptoms one might consider more depression than ADHD but I assure you it's my ADHD and it's not depression, it's a chicken and egg kind of thing, if I could stick with getting things done and being motivated then I wouldn't appear to be so withdrawn and down.