I might start skipping the rinse aid and I'll seek out dishwasher pods that don't have that ingredient.
But apparently it's more od an issue with "professional" (restaurant) dishwashers, which use less water and more chemicals. I gathered this from other comments and I don't know if it's true.
I also looked at home-made detergent recipes, as we've had good luck making our laundry detergent, but the blog I looked at showed severe streaking and residue on their example dishwasher load. I can't say that appeals to me, either.
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Great-Value-Automatic-Dishwasher-...
Kroger gel and powder doesn't seem to have it.
https://www.kroger.com/p/kroger-lemon-scent-dishwasher-deter...
https://www.kroger.com/p/kroger-lemon-scent-dishwasher-deter...
Frankly the harmful ingredients seem to be exclusive to pacs and pods.