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Comment by adr1an | Hacker News Reader

The gender remark was totally uncalled for, off topic, and not backed by any evidence (other than your personal experience in the form of "I suspect"). Maybe you can rethink what you had in mind. But please don't take my comment as a platform to expand on it.. I'm already regretting pointing this out... But it seemed almost sexist..

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Hmm I guess I would like to add some nuance. I’m a trans woman, and I have thought a whole lot about gendered roles in our society. Indeed, women and afab people are taught in our society to behave a certain way - to be deferential to men, to please others, and to avoid confrontation. Men and amab people are taught to speak their minds, not shy away from confrontation, and to be direct. This cultural pattern is indeed sexist - it seems to be driven by a patriarchal society.

But as observers if we are cautious about what we are saying, it can be okay to point out that women are socialized a certain way and this can lead to certain conversational patterns. We need to be careful to realize this is not some biological thing (hormones make impressive changes but this isn’t one of them), but I think it’s okay to point out common socialization differences if we are careful to attribute them to socialization. At least it can be okay. Certainly it is a delicate subject.

I thought it was an interesting hypothesis for why I see women actively avoid the sort of debate spaces online that I seek out. They are all absolutely dominated by men and it doesn't matter what part of the political spectrum the particular echo chamber embodies, this happens in both leftist and right-wing spaces.

Is it sexist to say that women seek out conflict less than men? Mens' brains are literally doused in a hormone that makes them aggressive for many years of their development. Isn't it sexist, or just weird, to suggest that testosterone has no effect on mens' behavior?

Go look on female-oriented forums like Mumsnet, you'll find similar levels of conflict as are found in male-dominated places, especially around contentious topics.

or Instagram, or Tumblr, or book writing forums, or true crime forums, or certain political forums. it takes a special kind of man to sit in his own bathwater and ruminate on the fact that there are no women there; it's because of the testosterone in the water, which means that women don't bathe, which is why they sink.

sometimes, this place. smh

> Is it sexist to say that women seek out conflict less than men?

Inherently? No. In practice, generally.

> Isn't it sexist, or just weird, to suggest that testosterone has no effect on mens' behavior?

It is erroneous to conflate the positive claim that "testosterone has no effect on mens' behavior" with not making the claim "women seek out conflict less than men", and that is particularly true in the context where "conflict" is specifically online debate.

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