It's only recently that either VP9 or AV1 could be efficiently decoded on iPhones (or Macs). YouTube can afford to serve lower quality experiences to these devices, but many services can't.
On the note of YouTube, my understanding is that they gracefully fall back on H.264 if you lack support for VP9 on your hardware (they probably are or will do the same for AV1). Google is most likely promoting VP9 this way for their own long-term benefit.
HLS has also been an issue as the RFC mandates proprietary codecs, but Apple have silently added VP9 support recently in their implementation [1]. The HLS container formats are still proprietary though from what I can understand. MPEG-DASH should support VP9 and AV1, but I have not read up on it much as MPEG-DASH is proprietary as a protocol [2].
[1]: https://github.com/video-dev/hls.js/issues/5684
[2]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dynamic_Adaptive_Streaming_ove...
The AV1 support in M3 is a result of such a threat of being left behind (and thus only decoding); In comparison, Opus is still being ignored, outside of mandatory support in browser.
> H.264 answers Google's open codec with forever free license (from 2010)
https://www.theregister.com/2010/08/26/mpegla_v_google/
H.265 never really took off on the web for the same reasons.
So yes, it's taken a while, but most web usage is jumping from the H.264 that couldn't strangle web video due to VP8 to AV1, so it's overall a very clear win. Part of the delay was the patents side dangling a royalty free subset of AVC and HEVC at various points that never materialised.
Which should have been predictable as this is very much a "scorpion and the frog" situation. Codec makers are not permanantly binding themselves to reasonable deals in perpetuity (well excluding the "open"/royalty free ones that do exactly that) because milking rent from a locked-in market is the end-game. They know it and we know it.