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should be "Your branch is up to date with the local copy of origin/master, last updated on XXXX-XX-XX:XX:XX:XX" haha

That sounds like the origin/master branch last got an update on XXXXXXXXXX, not that you checked out your local copy on that. I would fetch and then be wondering why nothing charged.

Further it does nothing - it tells you nothing about the remote. It could be 1 second or 100 years and you would still need to fetch to determine if anything is different. Then what is the information for?

By the last line's logic there would need to be an atomic fetch & compare. `git fetch && git status` still has the same race condition!

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