Bjarne is right, the guy is wrong, full stop. If you don't care about performance, then
don't worry about performance. Use std::list if you like, and don't complain about it.
Ultimately, we write programs to make machines do things. What we write exactly determines what the machine does. It is our responsibility to understand what we write makes the machine do; otherwise it won't do what we wanted. Often (maybe almost always nowadays) the performance details don't matter much. When they do matter, there is no substitute for understanding.
The Standard data structures are constructed simply, with understandable performance characteristics, imposing minimal overhead both in time and code space. This is an extremely important quality not to sacrifice idly. No one is obliged to use only the Standard containers; if you need something different, you can write something different yourself, or even find it online somewhere. You are encouraged to write something yourself, and maybe publish it. People do.
In a very real sense, the Standard containers are just examples. Making them unnecessarily complicated would make them worse examples, and would make them worse for almost all places they are used.