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Comment by mrwzy | Hacker News Reader

"Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq ft - loneliness is the same" is quite profound.

Just moved from a big house in the countryside on a few acres to a rowhouse in the city and I am so, so much happier here. I had a lot of suicidal ideation when I lived in the middle of nowhere. I see friendly people every day.

I can relate. I haven't ever had suicidal ideation because of this but I can tell you I am shocked at how much I enjoy living in a city (1800sqft house on an 8000sqft lot) in a real, social neighborhood compared to either our previous suburban house (4500sqft house on 1/3ac lot) or the rural house I grew up in (2000sqft on 4ac in rural outskirts of a small city). I'm sure this doesn't apply universally, but for my family it turned out that having friends and acquaintances within walking distance is great for mental health!

8000 square foot lot! About 1300 square feet here. When someone wants to meet up I just hop on my bike and go, anywhere in the city. I love it.

I can relate to that. I've lived in a dense urban environment, and out in the sticks where we couldn't see our neighbors. Right now I live in a neighborhood of 8000-10000sf lots and I know all my neighbors, but we don't share walls. It's wonderful. Very social, very fun, and enough "in the city" so that there's nothing I'm missing out on.

It helps that I live in a suburban city, so getting around is easy and fast.

"On the other hand $3000/month get you far more health, kids upbringing, educational, and survival options than $300/month"

Is it really profound, though? Or is it up there with live, laugh, love and life is a journey?

If a concept like this is widely held to be profound on HN, then perhaps -- and I mean this as gently as possible -- that could be a sign that the average engineer's career is a little too much of a treadmill, and would benefit from a little more downtime.

Well, I think it's valuable inasmuch as it's easy to look at big, beautiful houses as an aspiration, when they won't do much to improve your relationships with other people, which tend to be at the core of happiness.

If your house is big enough you can talk to the domestic servants for company through.

Just because your house is big doesn't mean you have servants. And nobody is lonelier than the lonely man who is surrounded by people.

Servants or assistants might not provide you with the kind of connection that you long.

Or they could, if they care about you, respectfully attend to your needs and listen to you.

>Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it. Even some people who are surrounded by others throughout the day—or are in a long-lasting marriage—still experience a deep and pervasive loneliness. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/loneliness

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