The reality of the Catholic Church and its history is far and away divorced from the teachings of Jesus. Like the OP, I was also raised in a devout Catholic household, and while, yes, there is plenty of talk of love, there is, and traditionally has been plenty of fear-mongering.

You need to constantly be on the look out for Satan and his temptations. There's a laundry list of things you shouldn't do or think about. If you do, you should feel guilty and repent. God is always watching, so be good.

Every individual church is different, and your mileage will vary, but I found them to be similar to office spaces in the level of bickering and gossip as their best, and deeply dysfunctional institutions at worse.

I would also disagree that Christianity was the first major religion of purely love when Buddhism had been around for centuries and had the practice of forsaking one's own enlightenment in order to save all being from suffering.