If you have a negative outlook on all 3, why not find a language that you do like, and start from there?

I think one of the easiest things to learn (the basics, not the fine intricacies) right now, thanks to the explosion of web technologies, is Javascript. You already have an environment to run it in (any browser), and if you actually like it, you can advance to something like Node (ignore the hyperbole around both it's magical properties and it's carcinogens) to write "bigger" projects in.

But overall, take pilot_pirxs' advice. He is spot on.