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Comment by jurynulifcation | Hacker News Reader

I live in a rural, remote area without any clue how to break into a social scene. I think you're extrapolating and generalizing way too hard. It's not hierarchical for me, I just want to meet someone local to hang out with and date. Dating apps are, unfortunately, pretty much my only local connection.

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Church. Church ladies are algorithms that will use their network and even mesh to find you dates.

Another one is gym membership with a trainer. The trainer will know lots of people and can make introductions.

I feel weird going to church. I get the idea but I'm not religious at all. I'm not even open to the possibility. I'd feel scummy.

Also I have body image issues and do not enjoy working out around other people.

    Also I have body image issues and do not enjoy working out around other people.

That sounds rough. I'm sorry to hear it. I still strongly encourage you to get exercise on your own. It will do wonders for your self-esteem and mental health. If one, you get fit enough, then you can go to the gym. Don't worry, the gym is much less social than you imagine it is. Most people are wearing headphones these days.

The gym thing with a trainer is super weird dude. I’ve never heard of any trainer being like, “yeah, let me show you around to some chicks here.”

If you go to a CrossFit gym then there’s a community vibe but at a typical gym - there isn’t one at all.

It’s not weird at all, and that’s not even how it works. My trainer introduced me to other people and mixed groups (guys, gals, coupes, etc).

Those groups all have their own networks, etc. If you vibe with some of them and become part of their groups, you naturally get introduced to new people.

This also works if you move to a new area and even if you’re already in a relationship (I’m married), great for making new connections.

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