Ask HN: Please advice How do I crawl out of ADHD hellhole?
I graduated from university 2017 with a first, after university I was nearly unemployed up to today except couple of cheap freelance gigs. Also got tricked by company for freelance project (where they keep adding and changing features).
Tried to build several projects to earn a living, but I was not unable to complete them because my mind scattered all over the place and getting distracted by unrelated things (technologies, movies, etc.), due to dopamine cravings. It takes huge mental effort to work on things, while it comes easy for others.
Day by day, year by year time passed, I washed TV shows, helped relatives, read Reddit, blogs, did a little bit of coding here and there etc. Then it came to last year was diagnosed with ADHD (age: 29). I was given Atomoxitine, Ritalin, Buproprion, Venlafaxine, which are approved meds on the country, but none of those helped with focus, concentration, but Ritalin helps with mood and motivation, but there was sweating, crashing, faster digestion. Last week finally got the doctor in agreement to bring Lisdexaphetamine through countries regulatory agency, hopes it works out.
Now to the current situation: I feel I have wasted close to 6 years of life doing nothing (2017 - 2023), my peers from college are senior software engineers, my relatives are all in high places in big companies, I am now becoming socially withdrawn and try to avoid them much as I can. I humbly think that I am smarter than those peers and relatives, but I have huge struggles executing and doing things with consistency, the mind is restless, unless I fall asleep. I am an ambitious person, almost regret that my knowledge, skills are going to waste. It seems what Dr. Barkley says is true about ADHD.
> You gonna be the brightest kid in the world, not gonna matter. ... You can know stuff, you won't do stuff
To make things worse, my parents and relatives do not understand the disorder, my father keep pestering me to get a job and marry, since the relatives are married. Even some doctors think I have ADHD.
Before ADHD I struggled with OCD for years with terrifying obsessions, it took years for me to manage those compulsions with meds (Fluoxetine), now I have this, and this have wasted most young part of my life, I never being in a relationship. I also probably on Autism spectrum too (Aspergers), but I won't try to get that label, until I crawl out of this current hellhole created by undiagnosed ADHD.
In addition to that my mom has Parkinson's disease, here condition is deteriorating (memory, consciousness) year by year, Sinemet hallucinate her, then hallucination leads to suicide attempts. Both of my parents are old, they probably want me and my brothers to have a good life before they die, the current situation we barely make a living. I am scared guys!
Now to questions:
1. Is there anyone being in similar situation and overcame, please share your inspirational story and advice? 2. How could I guys apply for dev jobs, being unemployed for last 6 years after graduation? How do I explain the gap? How do I complete projects?
Thank you everybody!