Deshittifying the IoT Starts with Me

But that's the open-source purity stance and it won't improve things — people do buy IoT, so how can the people who have a hand in making these things do better?

Your tone reinforces to me that the term IoT is a poisoned brand, but it doesn't mean that there are no good uses for networked objects. Just networked objects that punish us with a lack of control and user experience.