Do you use cannabis? Your writing suggests to me (not a medical health professional but a family member to a person with mental health struggles) that you might be experiencing thought disorder, which is a sign of psychosis. In some people, cannabis use (including after a long period of use with no apparent negative effects) can cause substance abuse psychosis. Thought disorder can also be a sign of other non-drug-related psychotic spectrum disorders, like bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, and schizophrenia.
If you use soft drugs, consider taking a prolonged abstinence to see if your functioning improves.
Regardless of substance use, consider talking to a mental health professional. In Pennsylvania, the National Alliance on Mental Illness has a helpline for people undergoing mental health crises:
1-888-264-7972