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Comment by fafhnir | Hacker News Reader

Dont't "organize" your life. Live it!

you dont't organize eating, sleeping, shtting, loving,... Did you ever forgot to eat or hug your beloved one and organize a birthday party for your wife / children / whoever?

so why do you want to "organize" the other aspects of your life?

The only things i need to push me forward in the important aspects of my life are values*.

The values are working like a compass and pushing me fully "from self" in the right directions.

If one value is punctuality then you will find a natural way to reach this value.

If the Value is your own and it is real, then you will find various ways to reach it.

So go and look out for the real important values in your life. If you need "lists" or "organisation tricks" to reach goals, then, maybe, these goals are not your own goals.

Find them and the rest will follow :)

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Not very helpful advice for any folks with ADHD. We forget to eat, organize parties, go to the bathroom, etc. It is unfortunate but entirely outside our control. There is no "natural way" for me to reach the things I value because my brain is a dragon trying to find more new and shiny gold to horde while ignoring everything else around him. If I leave myself to "natural ways" then I play video games, watch videos, or binge Wikipedia all day.

I'm not sure this is helpful advice for anyone, to be honest. "The goals you think are important actually aren't if you need any reminders or tools to get there!" is a bad take for the majority of people, I think. If it works for you, that's great. I'm jealous that things align that way for you. But I'm guessing that for the majority of people, that isn't the case.

100%. Also an ADHD case here.

Forgetting things actively gets in the way of me living life.

I wouldn’t vouch for over-planning since that’s going to topple over the second you slip up, but having a list of “things you probably don’t want to do but past-you thought was important” is how I manage to do the big fun parts of living!

This reads like someone who doesn’t have to keep track of the house and kids. Getting appointments lined up for handymen, doctors, teachers, tutors, taxes, repairs, play dates, date dates with the significant other, etc. and somewhere in between it’s good to do the housework, eg laundry, cooking, cleaning, which means regular grocery runs.

This doesn’t ring true to me. There’s plenty I want to do in accordance with my values and emotional priorities that I fail to do because my organization could be better. Planning to do things further ahead with family and friends would be “living” and yet I often don’t because my planning could improve. I’m sure others have different challenges.

> Dont't "organize" your life. Live it!

That's not how it works if you have even a little bit of complexity in your life, which anyone with responsibilities has.

> Did you ever forgot to eat or hug your beloved one and organize a birthday party for your wife / children / whoever?

Some do, yes. And how does one even throw a party without some basic organizations?

But what about the boring parts? Taxes, doctor visits, household, managing finances... Not everyone can afford to thrift through live.

> If one value is punctuality then you will find a natural way to reach this value. >If the Value is your own and it is real, then you will find various ways to reach it.

People call that organization.

> maybe, these goals are not your own goals.

Staying alive and healthy is may goal, I still sometimes forget some duties which support this, because life is more than what is under my nose.

> So go and look out for the real important values in your life. If you need "lists" or "organisation tricks" to reach goals, then, maybe, these goals are not your own goals.

Terrible advice. It's like saying, eat whatever you want. If you find yourself continually eating funnel cakes deep and deep fried turkey legs, just go with it because obviously you must be passionate about being fat. Humans are lazy. Exercise is generally good for us, but most don't have so much passion for running or lifting that we just wake up everyday and magically find ourselves in a squat rack.

Unless you fail to remember about paying bills, taking medications, picking up deliveries, attending meetings, registering on time, filling taxes, not overbooking oneself, etc, etc.

Even though something is one's core value, it is still challenging to focus on executing it. This is especially true for people with ADHD. But most people who accomplish things are able (one way or the other) to organize themselves.

I disagree completely. The best thing I did was starting to budget. Something I only started doing recently. It is such a relief to know what my expenses will be for the coming months. It has also had the added effect that I am no longer wasteful. Like a switch went off in my head, I have reduced my daily food expenses to $5 from god knows what.

Alas, part of my life, and a part in alignment with my values that I really enjoy is "Run projects of huge complexity". As well as "have multiple hobbies" and "travel a lot"

And all the "live your life freely" advice in the world is not going to help me there.

I also have ADHD. I value the shit out of punctuality, but punctuality does not reciprocate without elaborate time management tools. And yes, I've forgotten to eat, or to hug a loved one, or to organize a birthday party.

The idea that there is "one weird trick" that'll just work for everybody is ignoring that we all live different lives. And there is value in exposing people to different approaches. But let's stop pretending that "Don't do A. Do B!" is good advice. The best we can do on this kind of advice is "here's what works for me"

Partially true. If I will not organize eating I will be hungry. If I will not organize sleeping I will be tired, because I went to sleep too late or can't sleep, because my mind is on full rev.

Sleeping and eating (though a tasty meal can be) are not my goals, but I need them in order to do interesting things.

Among those various ways to "reach it" is organizing things.

Sounds like a front page of a BS self-help book.

> you dont't organize eating, sleeping

I absolutely do.

There's nothing wrong with making your life more efficient to reach your goals faster.

yeh and a natural way to remind me to pick up drywall from lowes is to use a reminders app, you know because I have a poor memory.

I'm not sure your method is going to help there.

So.. write down your values? That could be your only note.

No. Live them.

I try to write what I think my values are close to every day. They are often not the same, and writing it down helps me consciously align to my values.

Can I write that down?

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