I'm sorry I bit you during my job interview (2011)

> Two of my coworkers are now convicted murderers.

Wut. Does that include the guy you replaced? Any more details here?

What was the job and industry? Two murderers in one company is unusual

TBH, I thought the original post was bland. I'm glad I checked the comments, because your comment was a rollercoaster to say the least.

Many years ago I had a job interview that included a personality test. I didn’t take the job, for other reasons. But I always wondered what had gone wrong in the past such that a personality test for engineers was in order. I’m now glad to know. I also wonder how many problematic malcontents I would have found had I gone to work there.

Were you told it was a stress test? It seems pretty unethical to perform a test like that without informed consent.

> Two of my coworkers are now convicted murderers.

Ex-coworkers, I presume.

Seems like a lot of us have worked with that "deranged guy." We had a guy who would _mostly_ keep to himself, do his programming job, eat lunch by himself, but then, every so often, he'd come up to you by the water cooler and just say something random and moderately disturbing, like "You know, I sleep with a gun under the pillow and a bullet in the chamber" and then just turn around and walk out of the break room. He would also stand in your cubicle doorway blocking your exit, and talk at length about his background in the military and intelligence agencies, and keen interest in Russian sensor technology, or some other unhinged topic--for hours or until you forcibly walked under his arm to leave. He was eventually fired for taking something too far (it wasn't disclosed to the rest of the office). He had to be escorted out by security while he yelled that he was going to come back to the office with one of his AK-47s and mow it down. We had a cop stationed outside the office for a few weeks after that just in case. Fun times!

> She would say something funny, I would laugh and then she'd take note seriously.

In 1st and 2nd grade my teacher used to designate a student to watch other students whenever he needs to step outside the classroom. He always picked this one student who had an annoying bestie that would tap someone's shoulder or would call their name, and if they turned around they got reported.

Your story reminded me of this.

> Comedy is about the unexpected -- leading a reader down a path and then changing directions in a way that provokes laughter, not confusion.

Yup. My favorite line was "Frankly, I think this all goes back to my childhood, when I would constantly bite people for no reason."

It just leaves the reader in midair. The started reading that sentence expecting an origin story of sorts, but the "origin" of this behavior is just some more history of unexplained biting.

As far as I can tell, comedy is about transgression without consequences.

I tend to agree with your analysis, but would like to add that the rest of the biting kind of ruins the joke for me as it goes too far in that single direction. Ending after the second bite (or a very short third) with a few unrelated jokes like the lack of skills in Excel macros would have made the piece better in my opinion.

In my case, HR tells me that I'm not allowed to tell applicants why they were rejected. Nothing personal, but my job is more important to me that someone's feelings.

I used to get mad because I was taking it personally. However, over time, it's become abundantly clear that I'm either overqualified and the interviewers are just not that great or there's a major shortcoming in the interview process. It's sad that it happens so often, but for some reason like many things in the world the interview process is optimizing for the wrong things.

I assume the legal risk is too big.

I once got told why over a phone call, and I suspect that's because in California, recording the phone call without consent is not legal. So it would not be allowed as evidence.

Needless to say, I am not a lawyer.

I once asked for a feedback, was told that they won't give any. Filed a GDPR request and got all of their e-mails and internal tickets about me and my application. Funnily, they printed this data, scanned to PDF and sent the PDF via e-mail.

Wow, is that a local/US thing? Having worked for the majority of my career in the UK (and now in Central Europe) I didn't experience many rejections after an interview, but these few I did have I was always told why.

Unless you mean, they don't tell you why, when they don't even invite you for an interview. That I found very common, but I think it can be a number of things. From stuff that is completely irrelevant to your suitability as a candidate (they already found someone, but they are unsure that person is going to cut it - it's in their interest to not respond and keep you in suspense for a bit, if the other person quits after a week, they might get back to you), or they currently have approval for one new employee, but they're hoping to get another job approved any day..., there are also recruiters and middle men that just want to build up their candidate DBs. I see lots of the same ads from such companies. Then there are all the "we have a great project paying $5xTheUsual, immediate start", but when you talk to them you find you have to help them win that business first... Such companies profit from just having lots of cvs on file to be able to tell a potential customer: we have 20 people with that skill you need.

So, unfortunately not getting a reason for rejection prior to an interview stage is pretty normal.

Personally, I hate this too. I once spent over 20 hours interviewing and testing with a popular personal financial tool. Out of over 500 applicants I was one of the final 3. Even that wasn't enough to merit anything beyond a templatized rejection letter, and radio silence when I asked for any information.

Professionally, I still hate it, but to some degree I understand it. Forgetting even the matter of additional business spent personalizing rejections, the truth is that most of the time the rejection will be taken personally, feelings will be hurt, and any feedback given won't be actionable anyway.

"Sorry, you look good on paper, but your solution to the challenge you was buggy, and you misunderstood the requirements. Go become a better developer."

"Sorry, your code was good, but you struggled to convey information to us. It appears you're a terrible communicator and that would cause problems on our team. Maybe some books on the topic would help, but I doubt it."

"Sorry, you aren't a good fit for our culture. You're abrasive and rude, and talked to the interviewer like you knew better than them. Quit being a narcissistic jerk."

If you're talking about being rejected at the application stage, IME it probably means you didn't follow the instructions completely, you don't actually meet the requirements (remember, it's probably HR or someone non-technical doing the first stage of rejections; they're just driving by checklist, so simple things sometimes get triggered here; if the requirements say "5 years JavaScript experience" and you list "5 years React experience" that might not make it through their filter), or your resume/application needs revising.

I'm not affiliated with them, but it seems like paying for a one time consultation/mock interview through https://interviewing.io/ might help uncover something useful.

It does suck that you have to pay to hear the "other side" i.e. a sort of "Honesty as a Service"...

Also, for what it's worth, feel free to reach out (email in profile). I haven't interviewed millions of people, but maybe I can help. And it's always more fun to commiserate with someone.

The best way I got better at interviewing is being on the other side of the table trying to fill a professional position.

The number of resumes you get that just are not a good fit is crazy. The tech stack doesn’t match, the experience is totally different, etc. and then the ones that DO get an interview have wildly different experience because they embellish their resume.

If you ever do get a handful of candidates that are all actually good matches, it usually comes down to price and likability. If you’re asking for too high of a salary, it’s not impossible but it is a tough sell if there really are equal candidates. Even if you are a good match it is entirely possible that a team simply liked someone else’s personality and culture fit more.

are they calling you? many companies have an automatic filter for CVs(one person won't read 200+ CV's), I was in the same boat till I used a CV parser, it digest your CV so programs can read it perfectly.

Then I was having almost 90% of call backs after sending the CV, I used this one https://www.open-resume.com/

One of my favorite McSweeney's articles. It only gets more hilarious towards the end. Very funny satirical take on some of the more bizarre (but very real) traditions in academia.

Q: Are the snakes big?

A: We have lots of different snakes. The quality of your work determines which snake you will fight. The better your thesis is, the smaller the snake will be.

So many layers of hilarity. The undertone of academic smugness and superiority. A++++

> Although if you get a poisonous snake, it often means that there was a problem with the formatting of your bibliography.

The Python reimplementation of BibTeX can’t be done soon enough.

Now I have to go listen to this song again. Thanks.

Albuquerque by Weird Al if you're wondering

The ridiculousness of having to send formulaic, bullshit "thank you" emails after interviews.

My take: It’s just classic satire employing exaggeration to highlight the absurdities of common experiences where people feel the need to justify the non-interview parts of their job interview.

I often get profuse written apologies for minor mistakes, such as using the wrong name, which I never care to remember and never factors into decisions because I understand interviewee nerves. Here, the comedy arises from the stark contrast: while minor slip-ups are forgettable and need no apology, a bite surely isn't, making it humorously memorable.

Some things are just funny for the sake of being funny.

Well, the "joke" part of it is that his explanation remains formal and polite while his behavior gets progressively more feral

and then it's funny in a tension-relieving way. The common interview experience is having to remain professional while under stress.

To me it looks like (sexual) harassment:

1: I’m sorry;

2: I was just hungry, your fingers passed near my mouth;

3: It was a joke;

4: It was your fault;

Its an anagram of Limed Eking which is a type of perennial herbaceous flowering plant that you can use the leaves of to treat small mammal bites.

Mike Edling

LinkedIn

Mike Edling - LinkedIn = Meg

LinkedIn - Mike Edling = n

Something something sets = Megn

> Or go in person.

But only with a full stomach this time, please!

In any case, common courtesy dictates giving the office a short heads-up so that HR has time to get everybody up to date on their tetanus and rabies shots.

I don't think a dog would mention or be asked about their experience with Excel macros.

I thought it was political satire at first.

This is because of all liabilities you open yourself to. Any feedback you give may turn into a lawsuit.

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