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Isn’t “files” a bit outdated? We could have it work with buckets and objects instead.

It's 2023. If you're not querying blocks on a distributed ledger you're living in the past.

No monthly seating though I want pay per command and only on successful exit code. Volume discounts are a plus as well please have your enterprise account exec get ahold of my head of it sec to start the 9 month long audit and vetting process while sales haggles back and forth with my vp of Eng on pricing and sla.

don't forget that we need to make `ls` PCI- and HIPAA-compliant so it can pass our arch review boards. this is a dealbreaker, so we're going to need your presales engineer to draft some architecture documents to help us sell `ls` internally.

it would also be great if `ls` worked in our airgap that we haven't built yet, but we fully intend to. this is also a dealbreaker.

This was supposed to be lighthearted fun. You crossed a line.